Sunday, 18 December 2011

Are we like the driftwood floating in the ocean?


I had a sort of quirky conversation with someone yesterday about backstabbing. When she told me that most probably that someone was jealous of her, I replied that sometimes, it is not jealousy.

We are each different in every way and there is only one of us in this world, so we are unique in every sense in our very individual sense. Everyone has different values in life and our values may vary from time to time or even remain steadfast in so many ways. Yes, sometimes, people tend to analyse things too much. When I attended a coaching residential, the person in charge put analysing down to ' Anal lying'.  And that term stuck in my mind until now.

I am not saying she was 'Anal lying '. It all started with the person who had 'backstabbed' her. The person had gossipped about her to everyone she can, who would listen to her. This person , let us call her 'J'..had many issues of her own and she had wanted to be in control of everything at work and in life itself. She could not deal with life's many issues and she had relationship and health problems. J had put all her efforts to try to control other things and stuff  of that and who comes into her life.
The very reason that she does it , is she feels that she needs to ' conquer' the 'demons' in her life through channelling her thoughts and efforts on others. J could not control or manage what happens in her life and she thought by subconsciously' putting her energy to the things that she feel she is being put in charge of, would make her feel more of a success than a failure.

So J has diverted all her thoughts and energy towards her expectations of others whom she felt had to do better at work . So the person 'A' whom I had this conversation with , told me that she would be more aware of things that are going on. This was more of a real surprise to A as she had not realise all these issues at work before she came to me for counsel. It was only months after the session that she had understood what was going on.  A is a happy go lucky person and though I ' picked up ' the 'agro' at her workplace the last two months, I had only told her to be careful . I did not elaborate to her the seriousness of what was going on as I felt that she had to find out what was going on as she is on her journey in life. It was not life threatening and I feel each individual had to live their life's karma if they need to know forgiveness and be more aware.

So are we like ' driftwood' floating in the ocean waiting for someone to  rescue us and make something out of us. I had this thought last week. So what happened yesterday may  have something to do with what I thought about last week. What is interesting with driftwood is that it is light and that is why it floats with ocean's waves. If I imagine myself as a driftwood, it will feel like floating in the water with no cares in the world. I may land on a beautiful white sandy shore or I may carry with me loads of yucky substance and land on a dirty beach.
Some driftwood have been made into pieces of art...some still drifting with not a care in the world until they deteriorate and decompose.
The dirty driftwood that has the yucky substance is like the negative stuff that we choose to allow others in our life's journey to attach to us. It comes in the form of malignant gossip, bullying, judgement,  imposed emotional guilt and blackmail. The constant nagging of people who are 'winching' and complaining  about everything instead of counting their blessings.
Just tell oneself that people who are ' backstabbing' you , they are not worth worrying about. They have their own issues and whatever it is , that is their problem and not yours, even though it might concern you. When one reacts to another's rubbish, one will carry on the it never ends. If ones responses, are to delve into the deeper recesses of ones mind, and understand that as long as one is true to oneself , one do not have to worry about what the other person is about.... That is their problem and not yours.
Remember. someone Else's perception of us does not make it true to be who we actually are. When we are truly and consciously living our lives with awareness and with a conscience , We are responsible for our own actions and our perceptions and not by other people's.
It may be a lot to ask of ourselves to 'Bless And Let Those whom We had expectations of in Our Life to live their life they see fit'..but can we see the mirror reflection of our very own expectations of what we want others to be too?

Thank you for reading...

Love and Light Always,

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