Thursday, 22 September 2011



What is our will? I have asked myself many times especially so when I have had witnessed many incidents regarding this issue.

Take one scenario, where one is " Given the ' Death Sentence ' " by a medical doctor.

Each person will react or respond in different ways.  We may break down and cry or try to keep on a brave front and deal with it later. Either way, we have to deal with it sooner or later, depending on how long we have been 'Given'.

Thoughts swirl in our mind...everything just flashes in front of us.... the people whom we love...the things that we have not complete...the fear of dying....the thought of  ' How do we deal with this?' Do we tell someone or do we keep the news from the people whom we love? Do we put them in the equation of our pain and maybe anguish?

What is our will, written or emotional? What do we want to be specific in leaving inheritance of love, anguish....unforgiven....material stuff.....?

Do we tell the people whom matters, The stuff that we do not like about them or to so call advise them to live their lives as to our will.

Do we have honestly have the energy to do all of  the above or can we just give up and just let whatever will be to be?

We may make the necessary preparations to meet our Maker....we think we do.... we may even try to change the way we live, the way we eat and even the way we breathe and think.

Then we may start questioning ourselves with ' What is the Point?'

We may still feel the need to be in control of our 'situation'  and let our will be known before we are being prescribed the so call drugs that are supposed to kill off the disease, that makes us hallucinate.

People will turn up feeling sorry for us and try their best to give us well-meaning advice on our diets, even to the extent of giving us self -help books to give us some hope.

Some people stay away because they might not know how to deal with what you are going through.
Sometimes, we may turn people away because we do not want them to see us the way we are going to be in our final days.

Yes, death is private to us. We face death alone even though there are people around us. We do need to have our dignity and not be on public display when we take our last breath.

Then there are the so called people who think they care about you by telling you what to do with your will. There are even those who will selfishly give you the ultimatum of what they want you to do .
Yes, Seen it often...experienced it .

Even when you do make your will, there will be others who fight against our will when we are gone.
They disrespect our wills and think we are stupid or brain dead at the time that we make our wills. They contest against our will...try their best to convince the beneficiaries to do otherwise than what is required.

It may feel that when we are gone, we are gone forever. We are not able to have control over what goes on in the physical world after we depart.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011


I had a very stressful few weeks with my face book account being compromised...person/s logging into my account...having to change the passwords for my e-mail and face book accounts nearly every few hours so much so that I did not have the energy to carry on writing.

That is a very long sentence, you may say or think but that is not nearly how long it was for me to get out of the anger mode to put these bullies behind me. Yes, very much so, these people who hijack our accounts are really bullies in their own world. They must have nothing to do except provoke feelings and testing our patience.

I do feel sorry for these people as they are practically thieves and peeping toms. What is their point?
What is their upbringing like? Do we blame their parents or themselves?

What are their needs that are not being met? What values do they have?  By bullying others, is it a compensation for what they are lacking?

I asked myself these questions. Well, I have realised that it is like anything else in life.
People do have different values definitely. What is their sense of achievement in their own right? Is there a monetary value to what they do, irregardless of other people's feelings?

Questions, questions, questions? I am not going to try even to understand their reasons for doing what they do BEST?

I can only now speak for myself from my very own experiences and values.

I had a very interesting conversation with my Mentor, John yesterday.  John is very good in helping others realise what is the underlying source of our behaviour/s .
He inspires me , is a gentleman and is honest and tactful without being in your face.

I am grateful to have him as my mentor. He is non-judgemental and so far one of the best coach that one can find.

I have for the past few years been thinking, contemplating my life...doing a sort of 'inventory' into my life's experience.

There is a point in life where I asked myself, ' What is the Point'? I am sure many of you have done so already in so many areas of our life especially in our relationships.

Have you felt that somehow sometime, you feel that you are just existing for others? Most people do not realise that they do exist for others.

These are the patterns in life that we fall into. We procrastinatee on so many things and then when we do finally take that first step in, let's say a project...and then we do not have the 'mood' to complete it.
We have all the ideas and then much more newer ideas and then we start on the other better ideas, and then we do not feel like completing them. We could stare at it all day  and something called, 'Guilt' says , 'You must complete your project'.

What causes guilt to come in? It is our belief patterns that have set in long time ago when we were younger..  Then we may realise that we do get bored with the unfinished projects and then it all goes into a cycle of ...Get the Stuff needed....Procrastinate....Work on it... Stop... must do it cause you spent money on it...then you lose interest....completely.

Underlying this behaviour is a need to your own right. When you have a need to achieve for someone Else's sake and approval, it doe not happen so brilliantly. The negative energy that goes with the project makes it a failure., especially when one is not doing it for one's own values.

Do we need to measure our achievement as a monetary value always? Some of us do and some of us do not. Everyone has their own model of the world. It is what we choose to live with that makes our character.. Do we change our values to match other people's expectation of our capabilities or their capabilities?

We do set our own standards and the primary role is to look after number one  and that is ourselves.
Like John mentioned that when we are travelling on a plane, we are always told to put the oxygen mask first before others in case of emergency. It makes sense. We do have to help ourselves and know what we are doing and not be robot-like in our lives.

 When we try to achieve for somebody else to make them happy or to seek approval, we are not being true to ourselves unless we are doing it for us  according to our values and not others.

Another thing is to measure our sensitivity to other people's thoughts and behaviours. On a scale of one to being very sensitive to what others say and ten...not so sensitive to what others say.
Let us say the sensitivity gauge that we choose is four and four is not being all the way sensitive to what others say..because if we are truly vulnerable and sensitive, we would have acted accordingly to what others expect of us.
What is important is to ask ourselves,
 ' Who do I want to be?'
'What do I want to do?'
'What do I want to have?'

Our values are our sense of worthiness. Be motivated by our own values and we can choose to be less sensitive to other people/s needs ( Control ) at the expense of our own.
Be who we want to be and not what others want us to be.

A quote from John, " I AM HAPPY I'M USING MY TV REMOTE."

When one is in charge of your very own TV remote, one is in control of what one wants in their own model of the their world. If you have reached an age of adulthood, then ...what more do we want in life , then be in charge of our own lives and values.

Our needs are linked to feelings connected to other people but we do have to take responsibility for our own feelings.

We do not need to be an emotional slave and be responsible for other people's needs (Control).

Thank you for dropping by.
PS: This is just a summary of what I intended to write regarding  the above issues.  I will expand on the issues mentioned at another time.

Ms EliMaeO

Monday, 5 September 2011

Take responsibility.


I woke up very early this morning at 0430 hours. Could not go back to sleep. A thought came to me to pull out my journals from past years.

I was surprised to read what I had written in 2006. Fortunately, I had dated some of the pages written.
One of the pages had me thinking again. Whatever I had written in the past has now surfaced and is still valid in the present moment of my life. I would like to share with you what I had written and some articles were written during class...

I have a dream journal too and just reading snippets of it, I was blown away that some of the incidents in the dream journal had happened after 2006.

There are pages where I have written after meditation and asking MY HIGHER SELF  for answers.
This page is valid for me as I had only started blogging only recently. I will share the message that was given to me during the next few days. Let me dwell on it whether it is the right time to share this particular message as it is a very personal one to me. I will ask My Higher Self for the right answers.

Meanwhile, I will share with you the other pages..


We give our power away when we blame another for our frustrations. No person,no place and no thing has any power over us, for 'we' are the only thinkers in it.

When we create peace and harmony and balance in our minds, we will find it in our lives.

We are each responsible for all the experiences that we have.

Every thought we think is creating our future. The point of power is always in the present moment.That is the 'PRESENT' we give ourselves.

Everyone suffers at different intervals in their lives from self-hatred and guilt.
The bottom line for everyone is, 'I am not good enough'.

It is only a thought and a thought can be changed. Resentment, criticism and guilt are the most damaging patterns. Releasing resentment will dissolve even the most dreaded dis-ease.

When we really love ourselves, everything in our lives works.

We must release the past and forgive everyone including ourselves which some of us find difficulty in doing so. Be gentle with ourselves and our conscience. It is no point to carry the burden of hatred, hurt, and anger with us. Just bury it all, bless all that has happened and release all that are not good for us.

We must begin to learn to love ourselves. Self approval and self acceptance is in the 'NOW' and are the 'KEYS' to positive changes.

We create every so- called illness in our body.


The Universal Power accepts us at our own values, then it reflects our beliefs in our lives.

If I want to believe that life is lonely and that nobody loves me, then that is what I will find in my world.

However, if I am willing to release the belief and to affirm for myself that, ' LOVE IS EVERYWHERE, AND I AM LOVING AND LOVABLE ' and to hold onto this new affirmation and to repeat often, then it will become true for me.

Now loving people will come into my life, the people already in my life will become more loving to me, and I will find myself easily expressing love to others.

We are all victims of victims, and I will not blame our parents and they would not possibly have taught us anything that they did not know. If your mother did not know how to love herself, or your father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach you to love yourself.

They were doing the best they could with what they have and had been taught as children themselves. If you want to understand your parents more, get them to talk about their childhood, and if you listen with compassion,you will learn where their fears and rigid patterns come from.

Those people who did all that stuff to you were just as frightened and scared as you.

If we choose to believe that we are helpless victims and that it is all hopeless, then The Universe will support us in that belief. and we will just go down the emotional drain.

It is vital that we release these foolish, outmoded, negative ideas and beliefs that do not support and nourish us in any way.

Even our concept of God needs to be one that is for us, not against us.

Thank you for reading....Peace and Blessings.


Sunday, 4 September 2011

3rd Chapter...Letting go....

Letting go can be most difficult for most....if not all....How do we start?

Perhaps we can start with our emotions... because everything is about emotions which in the first place give us the feelings ....

How do we let go of our emotions? There are many ways to let go of our emotions...

It is not good to suppress our emotions but at the same time we have to manage our emotions.

Life is a journey of emotions... It comes in different waves...sometimes it is calm, sometimes it is like a lullaby, sometimes it comes crashing hits us in the place we call our 'Solar Plexus'.

It makes one feel sick and queasy...that is why sometimes we hear the term," I can't stomach it. "

Even though we may think or feel that we know how to manage our emotions, when we get that wave that crashes against the pit in our stomach, one can feel that it is like the end ..the end of everything...whatever it might stand for...

Everyone might react differently to circumstances but everyone feels pain in different measures. Whoever says they understand one's pain does not know what they are talking about as no-one can feel your pain or my pain...

By the way, every one's threshold of pain is different... So please never say you understand some one's pain.

Letting go is a painful process but it is good to do it for our sanity and our health...

There are many ways of letting go.. It all depends on one's circumstance or issues and how one wants to do it....

One of the ways of letting go is releasing your emotions if one needs to cry , then cry...let your tears flow.....have your private time of crying...It is great for the is great for health...but remember to be gentle and kind to ourselves after that.

There is so much to say...then say it... either by can decide whether it is worth sending it to whoever or it might be best to keep the note for a few days and then choose to make a conscious decision whether to send the note...

Just remember writing a provoking note to blame or even a note to curse and swear the 'Living daylights' out of someone may be good for one to release all the pent up emotion but sending it to the someone will antagonise the relationship all the my advise is not send it...Just burn the note after a few days..

Write a reply to yourself of what you would like to hear from that someone.

One might be surprised by the contents especially it one is honest with one's feelings.. After all the script is are in charge.

Just take note that we have no control over other people's feelings but we can have control over ours.

We can speak to someone we trust when we most need it or arrange to speak to a counsellor if you want to keep it private...

One has to be honest and find someone who can empathise but not sympathise.. We do not need pity... we need strength to move through the waves of our journey..

Peace be with all.

Saturday, 3 September 2011



I feel that we are here by Divine Appointment definitely. Each of us are assigned to be and to do whatever we need to be and do.

If we truly reflect on the past and the present, we will find reasons to believe so.

I know from my very personal experience that it is so. Whatever my experiences have been so far have always been a step forward. It is like being part of a jigsaw of the whole of  The Universe.

Each and everyone, we meet somehow fits into our life by Divine Appointment.

We are in each other lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime/ and a lifetime.

Somehow, when people 'Opt' out of our lives for whatever reasons, we must remember that it is never for the reasons that we think they do.

We do reach a crossroad in our lives time and time again.  Each time we choose a path consciously or subconsciously, we live different experiences.  No crossroad is right or wrong, it is just the experience that we need to  fulfill in our lives.

Imagine a light bulb just like the twinkling Christmas lights that some of  make use of for the Christmas tree.  Imagine that each one of us is a bulb in the whole line of Christmas lights.
What will happen it one bulb does not light up? We have to change it in order for the whole string of lights to work.

So each of us is very important to fulfill whatever is needed of us to carry on the spark that is so needed in this world.

Even though, some of us would want to give up when we face a 'taxing' time, we still belong to the Universe even though some have left through 'death' for whatever reason.

I feel that we have to remind ourselves that whatever we decide to choose to do with our lives, it will be like a 'domino' effect to the rest of the world.

One important thing is to remember who we truly are. We have choices..even by not making a choice , we would have chosen not to make a choice.

We can only answer to ourselves because that is the experience that we choose to have by our response or our reactions.

We can choose to respond or to react.  Responding to a situation is different than reacting.

When we choose to respond, we know what we we want to say or do...i.e. we do choose to think what is the best way for the Highest good of all concerned.

When we choose to react, usually it is through our ego that recognises the fear and the anger that is already latent in us. Ego is ' Easing God Out' .

We do forget that there is only One Power when we choose to react and that this power is God.

Let me explain.. When we choose to react from fear or anger, we think the situation or the other person/s have more power over us, so much so that we strongly feel that we must take control of the situation  so as to justify whatever we feel.

The perpetrators in our lives are our greatest teachers.

Each time, we are made to feel stronger from our experiences when we choose to respond from a higher point of consciousness.

We can choose to 'Bless'  our perpetrators and  'Let them go' or we can choose to keep them in our journey throughout our lives.

Everything is a choice..So we can choose to make our choices foolishly, intentionally or wisely guided by our Higher Self of Consciousness.

Thank you for visiting.  Peace be with You And All.

Thursday, 1 September 2011


Some people love the way they live their lives with lies and skeletons in their closet.

It is sad to know that when someone is so dishonest with how they live their lives with lies and more lies. They do think that no one knows that they are lying or even worst , they do not care whether you know or not. When they do not care, that means , you do not matter at all to them,,,it is all about them.

The only fear that they might have is being found out by their nearest and dearest. They would lie or keep everything going as normal as they could because they feel that they are smarter and can outdo anyone else in their life.

They must love their life and lies knowingly or unknowingly. Some will even deny certain truths to save their own 'skin' when they are found out.

In the end, the result is it shows on their face, i.e. their harshness and hardiness and yet some are in denial , thinking that they are still so good looking. Yes, they may be only good looking to themselves but the whole world can see it in them..

Obviously, they do not know themselves very well or they are in very, very deep denial about their behaviour.

So sad, so very sad... when someone do not know that their character flaws show the hatefulness in what they represent.

They are never ever happy and they are always envious of others... Sometimes, other people just walk away from it all. These other people do not need this relationships.. These other people who choose to walk away are the very ones who know that they no longer can help the one who is living  a big lie.

These other people know the truth about the lies and they do not condone such behaviour and they know that they can never ever trust them again.

It is so painful to try to analyse the behaviour of people who is living a lie or a life of  lies.

It is their very own personal karma.. they get what they deserve in the end....always..

Do you know of someone like that?

What will you do when you do know?

When you are aware, how can you choose to change the way things are?

The only deceit that is going to happen to you is to be in denial.

Thank you for dropping by.